“Do you think I’ll get recognised on the tube?” I asked Faye, who had rightly confiscated my copy of Grazia. “Maybe I’ll be the first one to buy a house without help from their parents,” I suggested to my friends. Maybe it could be funny, I thought; maybe this could be part of a future Edinburgh show. “So. “All right, Deliciously Bella,” Faye said, “why don’t you start your own blog about the merits of drinking for three days straight before nourishing your body with 11 Domino’s pizzas and a vat of Ben & Jerry’s?” I laughed it off, but started looking for online wellness parodies. I startled my mum one day when I screamed and punched the air. The smell of vinegar didn’t leave my hair for days.) “We’ve got a surprise for you!” they squealed. I was praised for being #brave for revealing my ab-less torso, and “crazy” for putting ketchup on my face. In the shallow end: ‘the food fad I’d so accurately satirised was dying out. After years of working in TV production, pestering executives to put me in a show, I conceded that I might have to demonstrate to them what I could do in order to prove my worth. y newfound notoriety was like pouring petrol on a raging fire. I realised people reacted best to images that directly parodied other people’s content. Although the rational part of my brain knew that I can’t be for everyone and everyone isn’t for me, I couldn’t help but take criticism personally. The next day I told my doctor that I felt that if I got out of bed, I would surely die. The Accidental Influencer: How My Need To Get Likes Nearly Ruined My Life, by Bella Younger, is published by HarperCollins on 13 May. And I wasn’t any less of a person for walking away. I told them that I’d been fine a couple of weeks before; it was just a bad reaction to the pills. Comedian Bella Younger thought wellness Instagrammers were ripe for parody. The end of the fringe bled into the Edinburgh television festival, and the city was filled with TV’s decision-makers (and 50% more cocaine). Apr 20, 2020 - 11.6k Likes, 164 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “A twenty minute, one pan sun-dried tomato chickpea recipe on our Instagram stories for you today …” File number 7504349. “You know me so well!” The Sprite soured as it hit the dregs of that morning’s toothpaste. I wish I could say that I’ve left social media behind, that I’m not affected by likes and follows. Someone called Deliciously Ella’s got the fastest-selling cookbook in the country and I want to know if we should put her on the telly.” I had been blissfully unaware of wellness until that point. I tried to escape by going away with friends, but after bursting into tears in a strip club and fake-tanning one of my toes with no recollection, I knew I couldn’t look after myself. When subsequent posts didn’t perform as well, the feeling of dejection returned. #eatclean #deliciouslystella #5aday #readyformonday”. Dec 12, 2018 - 17.5k Likes, 344 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “Roasted sweet potatoes with harissa, tahini, crunchy chickpeas and coriander straight out the oven…” Ella’s blog gets over six million hits a month, her app has been a bestseller more than a year, and she has nearly 500,000 Instagram followers. 33.3k Likes, 608 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “A twenty minute, one pan sun-dried tomato chickpea recipe I just made this for us for lunch and…” Liv and I had bonded over our shared bouts of anxiety, and I’d been pretending for a while that mine was lying dormant. I now know that just one post on my Instagram grid is enough to make me spiral. Starting with a personal blog, we’ve evolved in to an app, recipe books, a deli, and a range of plant-based food products. If I could love myself, they said, they could, too. As far as I was concerned, it was just the opposite of illness, like not having a cold. All she cared about was eating snacks, drinking beers and having a laugh. When I told her what had happened, she erupted in giggles. Her feed was full of comments from gushing women admiring her perfect life and thanking her for saving them from their disgusting, sugar-filled lives. It was the character I’d fallen out of love with, not the app. I asked my father to quit my job for me and was diagnosed with bipolar over Skype. I was certain none would. 16.2k Likes, 346 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “These stuffed sweet potato and chickpea beauties are one of my fave recipes. I wanted to be the Instagram cool girl, the renegade who sat on the sidelines, satirising the people who really cared. Deliciously Ella reveals her second pregnancy has been 'much EASIER' and 'more enjoyable' because of the coronavirus lockdown as she shows off her growing bump. Saying goodbye for a few months with one of my favourite recipes - our Spiced Peanut Sweet Potatoes with a Creamy Artichoke & Edamame Dip. I started gaining a following from the very wellness women I was poking fun at, and was soon invited to one of their book launches. 43.3k Likes, 1,104 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “So many requests for the Netflix recipe! In addition to her debut cookbook, Deliciously Ella, the bestselling debut cookbook ever in the UK, she is also the author of Deliciously Ella Every Day; Deliciously Ella, Smoothies and Juices; and Natural Feasts. “Oh no,” I said, “the show isn’t about Deliciously Stella.”. Almost everything was either food-themed or emblazoned with “Stella”. Yet none of this made me want to change my social media strategy. Last year, in the throes of the first lockdown, I felt compelled to entertain. Haribo fried eggs, fizzy laces and Sprite. I tried to ignore the whisper of my low self-esteem, but soon I was unable to sleep. Dazu passen Wassermelonen-Gurken-Drink und Kokos-Mango … Surely, if I reached a certain number of followers, that would stop me feeling sad. The difference now is that I know I am liked, without needing strangers to confirm it. I could just be free. Old habits die hard, and when one day I got 4,000 likes on a post, I was elated. The idea that you could be more well had never crossed my mind. I’d noticed myself modifying my behaviour to better fit the habits of my alter ego. The blurring of the line between Stella and Bella was becoming increasingly problematic. Being funny doesn’t matter if you’re not having fun. When my agent insisted that I perform my next comedy show as Stella, it made sense. (I explained that under no circumstances was he to put me on the pills that stopped me orgasming.). Here it is, it serves 4, and you can chop and change the…” 600+ delicious plant-based recipes, 200+ yoga, pilates and exercise videos, plus guided meditations, personalised weekly wellness plans, articles, podcasts and much more for plant-based living inspiration. I spent the rest of the day on cloud nine. Wellness witches were cutting ties with “eat clean”. Wild Rice and Pea Salad. Starting with a personal blog, we’ve evolved in to an app, recipe books, a deli, and a range of plant-based food products. It’s a damning indictment of the perfection required from women on Instagram at the time that my untoned arms were considered revolutionary at all. After three days of nausea, dissociation and increasingly erratic behaviour, my psychiatrist suggested that I head to A&E. Please get back to work.”. Now I sat up and scrolled; I never had to be alone with my thoughts. She had written a popular blog about how she did it, claiming that cutting out sugar had allowed her to manage it. **free UK shipping over £25 & EU shop live**. You’ll … I dressed up as the Tiger King and showed off my growing collection of crocs. A packet of strawberry laces – unremarkable. Instead of making me feel sick, it made me laugh. It made me feel rich, even if it was only worth a £6,000 advance (paid in instalments). Did they think I was silly and vacuous? Then I got back to work. “Only my child could shit herself and be the happiest she’s been in weeks.”. But I really cared. I thought I could have lots of followers without. Two ecstatic producers had ushered me into a meeting room, giggling like schoolgirls. I wanted to be the Instagram cool girl, the renegade who sat on the sidelines, satirising the people who really cared. Still, my star was on the rise, and I started getting gifts from small brands. 2020-jun-30 - 33.3k Likes, 607 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “A twenty minute, one pan sun-dried tomato chickpea recipe I just made this for us for lunch and…” As Deliciously Ella’s career continued to rocket (she currently has 2 million followers and a successful food line), mine slowly began to gather pace. Address: c/o US Global Mail, 1321 Upland Drive, PMB 8571, Houston, TX, 77043-4718. 171.2k Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from ‘deliciouslyella’ hashtag In 2011, nineteen-year-old Ella… It has taken my real life being full to realise how empty my life lived through pixels had become. Aug 16, 2020 - 1,681 Likes, 22 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “So many requests for the Netflix recipe! Why anyone would buy it when you could find most of the content on my Instagram page? I got into conversation about my forthcoming Edinburgh show with an American yogi who starred in the reality show Ladies Of London. Difficulty: Easy. Registered in England & Wales. But it didn’t stop me posting. Ella was model-beautiful and well connected (her mother is a Sainsbury). The final Google alert I received was to notify me that somebody was selling my Deliciously Stella book on Gumtree for a pound. Once I’d recovered, I called my sister. It was overflowing with confectionery. We…” I ended up fleeing the holiday and flying home to my parents’ house. After years of working in TV production, pestering executives to put me in a show, I conceded that I might have to demonstrate to them what I could do in order to prove my worth. Within five weeks I had almost 1,000 followers and Stella appeared in a tiny corner of Grazia in an article on fad diets. 2,971 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos taken at ‘Deliciously Ella at Weighouse’ 17.3k Likes, 231 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “Monday bowls... roasted tender-stem broccoli, garlicky black beans, roasted sweet potatoes, brown…” Agents wheeled around their new signings with rictus gurns, and for the first time I felt as if I could finally relax. I thought less about what the account could do for my Edinburgh show and more about what it could do for me. I felt the slow creep toward irrelevance.’ Hair and makeup: Kay Childs. Registered in Delaware. He asked if I had private health insurance, then admitted me to the Priory. The line between my character and what she was supposed to be parodying became blurred further. I bit the bullet, and decided to kill her. “What on earth do they mean by ‘eat clean’?” I grumbled. I had not slept for more than a few minutes at a time for seven days. If I can get to 100,500 I’ll be safe, I thought. Usually I’d just ride it out, switch on my light box and start going to therapy, but now I needed some extra help. A diabetic death at 9am. I resented her and the fake “authentic” life she’d given me. updated weekly. updated weekly. It was like rolling a six or pulling an ace. I just no longer feed the beast. Are we laughing or are we crying?” my flatmate Liv asked as I scrolled down into the dreaded comments section. From the founder of the wildly popular food blog Deliciously Ella , 120 plant-based, dairy-free, and gluten-free recipes with gorgeous, full-color photographs that capture the amazing things we can do with natural ingredients. Sep 15, 2020 - 19.7k Likes, 258 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “Lentil & tomato spaghetti - a really family favourite for us and one of Skye's fave dinners. our app . Our deli on Weighhouse Street is just 100 yards from Oxford Street, but is located on a very quiet corner and offers a bright and vibrant space to visit with friends and enjoy our plant based goodness. I decided to take the pills. The term had been vilified by dietitians, its links to an eating disorder called orthorexia – an obsession with only eating food believed to be healthy – becoming more widely known. Además, Ella Mills tiene más de 2 millones de seguidores en Instagram. I captioned it as if I were a premier wellness guru, using all of the wellness warriors’ hashtags: “a perfect end to a perfect day. 144.7k Likes, 4,500 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “Skye’s going to be a big sister We’re feeling so lucky to hold on to something so special while…” I continued gigging on day trips out of rehab; not even hospitalisation could quell my need for validation. I took to doing press like a duck to water, never turning down an opportunity to tell my life story. Quitting Stella didn’t mean quitting Instagram, I reasoned. Nobody could take away what I’d achieved with the character. Deliciously Ella is a resource to help you live better and make vegetables cool. To order a copy, go to guardianbookshop.com. Enough to tranquillise a dinosaur, and still I was awake. I still want people to like me; I want them to think I’m funny. I thought I could have lots of followers without needing followers. Did people really prefer my alter ego to me? “We just love you, because you’re so real.”. I found a picture on my phone of me suffering from the worst hangover of my life; I was covered head to toe in pizza boxes and smoking a fag. Eventually I wangled my way into the MailOnline, for an interview peppered with some of my more hideous Instagram posts. Creamy corn & broccoli chowder with coconut milk and almond butter now…” I’d decided to treat myself to a whole antipsychotic to mark my birthday, and my poor stomach couldn’t take it. “As if vegetables pulled from the mud are cleaner than a Snickers that comes out of a wrapper.”. I staggered through my day job like a zombie, then went home to drink wine until I passed out, waking a couple of hours later with an anxious start. I ran through all the downers I’d taken to try to dull my zapped-out brain. Deliciously Ella cuenta con varios locales en Londres, una línea de productos alimenticios que se pueden encontrar en los lineales de los supermercados de Reino Unido y hasta ha lanzado una línea de cosméticos natural con Neal's Yard Remedies. Eventually, after trawling confectionery aisles and realising I had well and truly wrung the joke dry, I seriously considered what life would be like without Deliciously Stella. Somebody even recognised me on the street. “Bella,” said my boss, Faye, over the top of her computer, “can you do some research on wellness, please? I’d suffered from insomnia since I was a child. I couldn’t find any. I stayed for a month. A packet of strawberry laces coming out of a spiraliser while I smiled manically in a Breton top? If wellness was a religion, then Gwyneth Paltrow was the pope, and Deliciously Ella the archbishop of Canterbury. ‘Stella and I were trapped in a bad marriage, but I knew she was still my meal ticket.’. I also suffered from seasonally affective disorder, and found every autumn extra hard. Through wan smiles, they talked about “glowing” while arranging ingredients in bowls and calling it cooking. I’d been living as a sufficiently functioning swamp demon for some time, powered by wine, fags, Diet Coke and junk. ‘In this world, social media is everything’: how Dubai became the planet’s influencer capital, Bella Younger: ‘I’d never heard of wellness – I thought it was just the opposite of illness.’. Explore our range of bestselling cookbooks by our founder and award winning author, Ella Mills, This week we’re looking at the practical advise on how to maximise, nurture and sustain your brain health with Professor James Goodwin, a leading expert on brain health. “Just ask yourself whether they’d make good telly,” Faye said. 13k Likes, 162 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “Sunny bowls for sunny days. I wasn’t so self-assured that looking disgusting didn’t matter to me, Bella, but “Stella” didn’t worry about her weight or what other people thought. I doubled down on therapy, and then, when lockdown lifted, I fled to live in Spain. I thought I could monetise my account without selling out. There were countless other “wellness warriors”, who claimed to have cured everything from IBS to eczema. Should I rewrite my show? “I’ve just got 1,000 likes in 10 minutes!” Whether I hit 1,000, and how quickly, was my gauge of mentally determining how well my life was going. (On reflection, maybe the ketchup was crazy. I posted sun-kissed shots of days at the beach, and people unfollowed in their droves. Here it is, it serves 4, and you can chop and change the…” Dec 8, 2020 - 2,077 Likes, 37 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “Soft, fluffy and full of sweet spice, our gingerbread loaf is such a delicious teatime treat and…” I have always wanted to be a comedian or television presenter, but never knew how I’d make it happen. I am a cisgender white woman who oscillates between a size 10 and a size 12: a poster girl for the disfranchised I am not. I had never been the prettiest in the room, the loudest, the most confident, but now I was minorly famous, and it made me feel as if I dazzled. But I really cared. The sort of uninspirational content my followers so enjoyed became nigh-on impossible to create. I was laughing so hard she thought I was crying. Sauté lots of crushed garlic…” Jun 28, 2019 - 2,580 Likes, 23 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “ Roast sweet potatoes and broccoli with garlicky black beans, brown rice, tahini and sesame…” I’d also seen the tide turn on the clean-eating era. Gold. Being her felt incredible. My lifestyle kept me reasonably slim, although in less abstemious ways. “Next year,” they said, “you’ve got to do a show as Stella.”. These Courgette & Red Pepper Muffins are one of our go-to savoury breakfasts, they're the dream on busy weeks and such a nice change from toast! But other people didn’t see it that way. “What are you gonna do? have always wanted to be a comedian or television presenter, but never knew how I’d make it happen. I reached for the Sprite and laughed. The doctors thought the Mirtazapine might have triggered a manic episode and wanted to investigate the possibility of my being bipolar. I didn’t need the stuff, but said yes to it all. Was I cheating the system by promoting junk food while maintaining an accepted body type, or was I actually helping women with disordered eating? I’ve kept my account; I love the community I built there and I still love a good scroll. Deliciously Ella on Instagram: “Lentil bolognese with crispy chickpeas and kale, plus a sprinkling of toasted pumpkin seeds Monday heaven Lots of plant protein too ” 32.2k Likes, 749 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “Lentil bolognese with crispy chickpeas and kale, plus a sprinkling of toasted pumpkin seeds …” Company number 08519077. Rezepte von Deliciously Ella: Herrlich süß, aber supergesund Der Sommer ist da! Deliciously Ella is a resource to help you live better and make vegetables cool. Faye banned me from looking at my phone during office hours. I had become addicted to the high. This is how I ended up spending a Friday afternoon in April 2015 secretly writing a standup show at my desk, hoping to one day take it to the Edinburgh fringe. It soon became clear that middle-class consumers were worshipping at the wellness altar. I explained that I hadn’t slept in weeks, that I wanted to live out the rest of my existence alone, in a cave, or I didn’t want to live any more. “Have you spoken to your therapist about the ‘like’ thing?” he asked. From managing…. The number immediately slipped back down to 99.9k. She gently grabbed my arm. I didn’t have to be special. Deliciously Ella’s range at Planet Organic includes energy … I reasoned that I didn’t yet feel bad enough to take the pills, but I wanted them there, just in case. Eight months after starting the account, I hit 100,000 followers, and to celebrate I took a picture of myself in my underwear, covered in Happy Meal boxes. I felt the slow creep toward irrelevance. Are you gonna cook food on stage?” she asked. Almost immediately, I knew something wasn’t right. As far as I was concerned, Instagram followers were my ticket to fame and fortune. The number immediately slipped back down to 99.9k. Without other influencer friends or a dutiful other half, I often had to ask whoever was in the vicinity to take a photo of me. A change in algorithm had seen my engagement drop dramatically, which meant I was now getting far fewer likes and comments. The first time I realised that my online and offline self had become one was during a meeting with a production company. Apr 11, 2020 - 3,257 Likes, 30 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “Black beans are one of my absolute fave store cupboard ingredients. Shop the Deliciously Ella vegan product range of natural snacks created by wellness blogger, Ella Mills who also runs the Deliciously Ella London deli famous for its plant-based and gluten-free brunches. I don’t know what I was more nervous about: doing a show as Bella, or not doing it as Stella. Apr 1, 2021 - Deliciously Ella on Instagram: “Lunch time inspo with our red pepper, carrot and edamame bean stir fry tossed in a tamari, peanut butter and maple syrup dressing, topped…” He prescribed me a drug called Mirtazapine. Sep 1, 2020 - 9,344 Likes, 109 Comments - Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) on Instagram: “Sesame, almond and back pepper tofu with garlicky broccoli, black beans and a splash of maple -…” My newfound notoriety was like pouring petrol on a raging fire. My relationship with social media had crossed over from problematic to deranged. My new agent invited me to a showbiz party. I posted a black and white picture of myself frowning, and wrote that Stella had fallen into a food coma – and the prognosis didn’t look good. I searched the name Deliciously Bella and found the account already existed (a woman in Australia was busy documenting badly lit puddings), so I settled on Deliciously Stella instead. It felt good to help, but I was confused. Once I started writing it, I found that I’d been more excited to sign the deal than I was to release the end result. © Deliciously Ella Ltd. All rights reserved. “How do you feel, darling?” “Well,” I answered, “I’m 28, I’m unemployed, I live with my parents and I’ve had a nervous breakdown.”, And then I shat myself. I booked an appointment with my psychiatrist and explained what was going on: I had gone viral on Instagram and was busy trying to get more people to follow and like me. 600+ delicious plant-based recipes, 200+ yoga, pilates and exercise videos, plus guided meditations, personalised weekly wellness plans, articles, podcasts and much more for plant-based living inspiration. Since leaving London, I have managed to come off antidepressants and conquer my insomnia with cognitive behavioural therapy. The only side-effect I had to worry about was weight gain; I decided it was worth the risk. Site by Digital Workroom. Registered office 1 Vincent Square, London, United Kingdom, SW1P 2PN. Ella Woodward (now Mills) had used what she called her “lifestyle not diet” to manage a chronic pain condition. What I wanted and what the people wanted had become intertwined. I’d been peddling the same joke over and over. “Sure,” I lied. “I’m not going to let some rich stick insect tell me what I can and cannot eat!” I barked at Faye. Vegana y divertida I got a book deal with Penguin, for a collection of healthy recipes made out of sweets. Yet I can’t help but love to be loved. Did I want to be the face of junk food? I was treating Instagram like Candy Crush, emoji-bombing strangers in … ‘I wanted to be the Instagram cool girl, the renegade who sat on the sidelines, satirising people who really cared.’. “Bella, there isn’t even a picture of you in the magazine. At first it was baked goods; soon it graduated to clothes and jewellery. Stella and I were trapped in a bad marriage, but I knew she was my meal ticket. I was terrified. A fact that will no doubt affect my ability to publicise my book about my experience. I needed likes; likes led to money and exposure, which led to more work. I was treating Instagram like Candy Crush, emoji-bombing strangers in an attempt to lure them over to my page. “Would you like a coffee or a green juice?” they asked, with a nudge and a wink. I can’t pretend that posting less-than-flattering pictures on Instagram wasn’t nerve-racking. Serves: 4 people. Mum rolled her eyes. A week later, my mum came into the bedroom to wake me up. I had never been the prettiest in the room, the loudest, the most confident, but now I was minorly famous, and it made me feel as if I dazzled. Could Deliciously Stella find her way back to reality? “We’ve put on a Deliciously Stella spread!” An anxious runner tottered in with a tray. “Go on,” I huffed, “fill your boots.”. The usual suspects were there, calling me ugly or fat. It was a success, so much so that I managed to bag an agent. 2m Followers, 290 Following, 5,306 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Deliciously Ella (@deliciouslyella) “Honey,” she said, “you need to give the people what they want.” This threw me into existential turmoil. Wellness wasn’t going anywhere, but the food fad I’d so accurately satirised was dying out. At my peak, I had almost 150,000 followers, but I still never described myself as an influencer. Between work, the book, press interviews and Instagram, I was starting to burn out. I called my mum: “I don’t think I know who I am.”. I obligingly shook a tin of frankfurters to advertise the film Sausage Party and launched “the beef lips challenge” to see which of my followers could hold a Peperami between their nose and top lip the longest. can’t pretend that posting less-than-flattering pictures on, Bella as Stella: ‘She had no shame.